Letter from New York

And now I is one.

The realization of this came last week. I was watching the early morning TV news in bed before dragging myself off to work. The commentator was giving the viewers a quick run-down of the days news stories. One made me pay attention and stop planning the day's work events as I am sadly prone to, before I rise.

The Wall Street journal had a front page story on how New York women were now saving time in the day by limiting the days on which they wash there hair.

Once it was daily, but now it is every two or even three days. Now I've been only washing MY hair every two or three days for some years. There just isn't the time and I've found that by not washing my hair daily, at least two times a week I can linger slightly over my breakfast dose of caffeine - or even have five minutes extra in bed.

So I've passed the test it seems. I am a new Yorker because
  1. I don't wash my hair daily
  2. I rely on a TV commentator giving me sound-byte sized summaries of the print media news stories.
  3. I watch TV whilst dressing for work.
  4. I need at least one dose of caffeine to start the day.
  5. I am paying of a condo in Manhattan.
  6. I work 70 hours a week.
  7. I rarely see my friends
  8. I communicate with my friends by leaving message on their answer machines whiles they are lying in their beds in the weekend
  9. I lie in bed in the weekends while my New York friends leave messages on my answer machine.
  10. My main relaxation is lying in bed on the weekends.
  11. My second most favorite relaxation is going to the local nail salon.
  12. I say, "Have a nice day" to the bus driver as I exit the bus, and this is my sole social interaction for the day.
  13. All my clothes are shades of black. I can leave a $20 tip at a restaurant without feeling ill.
  14. I understand the numbers on the remote and pronounce it REEmote.
  15. "Excuse me" now means "Get out of my way" and I don't worry if I knock old ladies in the face with my wet umbrella.
  16. I have a 401K.
  17. Uncrowded open spaces frighten me.
  18. I dislike doormen.
  19. I don't know any of my neighbors.
  20. I think in Fahrenheit and inches and call metrics "English".
  21. I put my return address on the front top left of the envelope.
  22. I use terms like "corporate culture" and call immigrants "foreigners".
I have yet to complete the test however -
  1. I don't eat with my mouth open.
  2. I prefer china to paper.
  3. I use change flatware between courses
But give me a New York minute, and I'll get there....

Kate Juliff
New York
January 2003

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