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Dead Animals on Walls? - Redneck Country in Manhattan
Apparently there are redneck urban honky-tonk bars here in Manhattan. According to Peter Wells (Time Out New York July 23 - 30) they are the off-spring of The Village Idiot on First Avenue, which closed in 1993, reopening later on 14th Street. In a story entitled, "Idiot's Delights" Mr. Wells reviewed a number of the redneck hotspots.What makes his article interesting, is the method the intrepid reporter used for rating the establishments. He bought a decibel meter from Radio Shack and took a reading at each place. He divided the number by the price of the cheapest beer and used the resulting number as a measure of value. He then used the Beers for Bangs score, along with less scientific qualitative scores to rate each place. Each honky-tonk was assessed under the following headings:
"Hogs and Heifers" score was only 55 decibels per dollar. However, the "Ladies' Undergarments Used as Decor?" earned the comment, "Pound for pound, more bras than Dolly Parton's closet". The Village Idiot had merely rated a "yes" on this important criterion. The best barmaid quote came from "Red Rock West Salon". "You got a knife? Cut my wrists open". So if you're up this way, and feel like a bit of culture, you now know where to go. "Say 'Hi' to the Nanny Bubble"
It's a tough life for the rich in the north eastern states of America. It's getting just oh so hard to find people willing to care for their pets and children, at an acceptable price. Acceptable to the rich, that is.The situation is getting so bad, that newspapers and magazines are starting to do feature articles on the plight of the rich in their search for nannies, chauffeurs, sommeliers and servants in general. Recently Sarah Bernard of "New York" magazine (July 27), in a story titled "The Helpless Rich", on the dearth of service staff, lead in with the following scenario. "The scene at 'Doggie-Do and Pussycats, Too!', an exclusive pet salon, was bordering on chaos last week. Harry, a white maltese, was having his Fourth-of-July ribbons out; Tawny, an apricot poodle, was halfway through a coiffure; and Valentino, Pipsqueak, and Truffles were expected any minute." (New York July 27) There's just not the staff to service the offspring and pets of the wealthy. The lead feature in the Metro Section of the The New York Times of 26th July was on the shortage of nannies. Many of the wealthy who live in Connecticut and Manhattan are horrified that they now have to pay $800 per week for a nanny. The rise in wages may be a result of the overheated stock market. According to the Times report, the chief global strategist for Morgan Stanley Dean Witter, Barton M. Briggs, wrote a report on the situation in Connecticut entitled, "Say 'Hi' to the Nanny Bubble". It is reported that the citizens of Greenwich, CT were "outraged" when a family new to the area enticed a nanny to work for them by buying her a new car (of her choosing). And now other nannies in the area are demanding similar treatment. In Manhattan restaurants and limousine companies are having to pay "finders' fees" to get staff. In "The Helpless Rich", Sarah Bernard reported that Carey Limousines NY Inc. pays $500 to staff who find new sedan drivers. For limo drivers they get $1,000. In the same story it is reported that Au Bon Pain, a coffee house chain, is now offering a five-digit signing bonus. And the Blue Water Grill's staff are being given cash for day-trips. The bubble is not predicted to last. So if you fancy driving people around, tending their dogs or serving their food, this is the time to hot-foot it over. After all, Harry, the white maltese pooch will need to be coiffured for ThanksGiving! The Grossing of AmericaThere seems to be an increasing tendency for American popular culture to try to attract by outraging. Taboos are confronted and jokes made about areas that would never have been dreamed about, even five years ago. So much so, that it is drawing comment from mainstream news commentators, such as Maureen Dowd of the New York Times.In a piece entitled, "There's Something About Bill" (August 2nd) Ms. Dowd draws parallels with the Clinton-Monica investigation, and certain popular movies such as "There's Something About Mary" and "BASEketball". She talks of the late 90's as being an era of "gross-out" politics and movies". When a TV commentator refers to the alleged keeping of a semen-stained dress by Ms. Lewinsky as the "1990's version of a corsage", one wonders how far they can go? Pretty far it seems. Now showing in Manhattan is a movie called "Killer Condom". Time Out New York (August 6th) describes this piece of culture thus: "This new feature, released by the bargain-basement Troma Pictures, will delight fans of bad-taste cinema and will leave cultural analysts' heads swimming. Based on a popular German comic book, "Condom" features gay cop Luigi Mackeroni on the hunt for a ranging rubber that, instead of serving and protecting, chops off the penises of unsuspecting men. When the condom clamps down on Mackeroni's testicle, the cop takes it rather personally. Clearly an equal opportunity offender, the film turns the notion of safer sex on it's head - and just might be the first flick to claim a one-balled policeman as its protagonist." As Ms. Dowd so succinctly put it, "Although we do not like to admit it, America seems addicted to scraping the bottom of the barrel. We're getting cruder, more self-involved and more over-the-top by the minute." Odd SpotFrom the Washington Post 29th July"NEWARK, N.J. (AP) -- Joseph Moran took Viagra for a date. He did not have sex that night, but said the anti-impotence drug caused blue flashes from his fingertips -- and that made him crash his car. Moran, a used-car salesman, has sued drug maker Pfizer Inc. for $110 million."  Your Questions and CommentsLinda, An Australian living in New york emailed: Thanks for the web site. It's been nearly six years since I moved here from Melbourne and I'm just about acclimatized. Your column reminds me what a weird place NYC can be at times. I remember the hell of trying to get a credit card and the pain of setting up an apartment. Naturally, I now pay more in rent per year than many Australians earn! I go to the theater a lot here ( twice a week on average) so if you get questions about that, email me.Thanks Linda. I don't get to the theatre as often as I'd like, so I'll certainly get in touch with any queries. Matthew, An Australian about to come to America wrote: I'm writing because it appears that you are one of the most knowledgeable about visas etc on the net. I am an Australian who will fly into the USA with my American girlfriend in about 3 months from Greece and plan to get a job in Fresno or somewhere in California. My problem is that I don't have a job set up and don't know exactly the best way to get one i.e. Aussie company in America or try an American company and go jump through all the necessary hoops. Ideally I would like some form of international co at junior management level etc. Could you please give me any advice and/or tips, tricks etc. Many thanks. Well I am not an expert in these things, but from what you have said, you should be able to get what is known as a fiancé visa. That will mean you can work here. I am not sure how long it takes to get such a visa on the East coast and think maybe you are better off applying for it before you come here. (In New York it takes a long time - many months.) I am not sure if it is still the same, but it used to be that if you entered under one category (e.g... tourist) with the intention of changing that category to some immigrant one, there was a problem. And of course you would have to be intending to marry to get a "fiancé visa". If you have a visa that allows you to work, my advice is to try for an American company. There appears to be plenty of work here in the IT industry. You don't say what your specific area is, so it is a little hard to say more on this. I think there are other work-related visas for people who get a job with an Australian company with American links. In that case you would not need to apply for the "fiancé visa". But I know nothing of these. You could check out our US Visa Spotlight page www.coolabah.com/oz/siskind.html, and email one of the attorneys at Siskind. You really do need qualified advice if you are intending to come here with the intention of working. Friday August 7th '98 |