Sunday, June 18, 2017

The First Bite is Free

Walking the dog
I'm just a walking the dog
If you don't know how to do it
I'll show you how to walk the dog
C'mon now c'mon - Rolling Stones, "Walking The Dog"

Dog Alert! Dogs and dog lovers read on at their own risk.

When I was in Bali I stayed at a  resort inland, far away from the Aussie bogan tourists. I remember the place well, though I cannot remember its name. The resort consisted of a cluster huts in the middle of miles and miles of rice paddies.

UES dogs and their adoring owners
At dusk the frogs would start to croak. Loudly. I remember asking one of the restaurant staff if he liked eating frogs, and he replied, "No because I have an affinity for frogs".

"An affinity for frogs". It sounds like the title of an early 20th century novel. That, or "affinity" being a  collective  noun such as in "a murder of crows" or "a flock of ducks".

 "An affinity of frogs".

I have several affinities  but dogs are not one of them.

I used to like dogs, my last dog being Sunday who I adopted while pregnant with my first child. Sunday was eventually shot by a farmer near the Victorian town of Bellbrae. She was a sheep dog, just doing her job with his sheep.

No dog has ever replaced Sunday,  and since her death I have never taken to another dog. In fact I can't remember how I ever even liked them.

It is hard to like something that licks other dogs arses and then tries to lick one's face. Yuck. Plus they bite and shed fur everywhere. Definitely unhygienic.

Two weird dogs, Central Park
In  New York there are dogs everywhere. In elevators, parks. On sidewalks. The only place you are safe from dogs  is at the opera or the ballet, though I wouldn't be surprised if besotted owners smuggled them in.

The City of New York even has a "one bite law" for dogs. And yes I know, they have a "one pothole law" ...  But it is the "one bite law" that gets me.

The idea is that the first bite is free. For the owner that is. So if you get bitten by a dog and it is the first (reported) time that the animal attacked, you cannot get compensated for medical costs by the owner. After all, the logic goes, the owner had no way of knowing that the dog would suddly turn into a savage beastie.

Not only that, but  if the dog bites again, then you can only claim medical expenses. No "pain and suffering". No hefty compensation.

NYC Dog Walker
And the definition of "one bite" - it is most likely the same as  the "one pothole law". If your car hits  a new pothole and several cars behind also hit the same pothole,. it is considered one hit.

I was recently bitten by a service dog.  New Yorkers can "register" their dogs as service dogs simply  by filling out a form on the internet and paying a couple of hundred bucks. They get a tag that is attached to the dog's collar.

This means they are able to take the dog with them to restaurants and apply for dog-free apartments. They don't have to be physically disabled. A person can claim you need it for "comfort".

ONE'S OWN comfort that is. I was recently attacked by such a dog in a restaurant.  There was no comfort involved for me!  But what really gets up my nose is that when I back away from a dog in an elevator, the owner invariably says, "Oh but he's friendly, he doesn't bite do you coochy coo?"

I do know that there exist lovely loving dogs. But I am taking no risks. I have no affinity for dogs. They do not comfort me. Ah, now I have a new collective noun, which does in fact relate to the title of a novel - The Comfort of Strangers by Ian McEwan. An excellent read. Much better than any dog.

And now I must go and dress my "one bite" wound.

Till next time.


Anonymous said...

I wonder what the collective noun is for service dogs? A Bite of Dogs? A Comfort of Owners? A Suit of Angry Bitees?

Kate said...

Love it - a bite of dogs

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