cordon bleu chic coiffure
fait accompli maison
creme de menthe
meringue blancmange Bardot
gauche gay Paris garcon
gendarme agent provocateur - from The French Song", Divishti Rankine & Greg Champion
|French Gucci and New York Taxis, Fifth Avenue|
In 1985 the French were angry with Australians because they - the French - blew up the Greenpeace flag ship - "The Rainbow Warrior" - in the port of Auckland, New Zealand, to prevent her from interfering in a French nuclear test in the Pacific island of Moruroa. What chutzpah. So French! Australia stuck up for New Zealand and the French then punished all Australian citizens, requiring them to apply for visas if they wanted to visit France.
Windows thought I wanted to BECOME French! It was about to change my PC language. Mon Dieu! I was reminded of my daughter when she was six. She wanted me to take her to France so that she'd have a French accent. It's a nice language, not as nice as the French think it is, but it seems even Windows 7 has gotten the francophile bug and thinks if you type "French" you want to become one.
Merci, mais pas ...
It's been a confusing week. Hot, chaotic, and puzzling.
I'm left-handed. All the best people are. And in the last decade or so, designers have started taking us Mollydookers into account. Simple things like having the power cord come out of the center-back of the iron, make us feel wanted when once we were shunned. The hand sinistre. The hand some religions use to clean their bottoms.
What did Dory Previn pen in her "Left Hand Lost" song?
left-handed people are impure
they go against the grain
left-handed children play with themselves
and drive themselves insane
And so it was with anticipation that I read this week about Australian entrepreneur John Lambie's alternative to what he calls the "dysfunctional" QWERTY keyboard. Not as dysfunctional as mine would have been had Windows 7 had its way and turned it into a French one full of acutes, graves and circumflexes.
Not that there's anything wrong with John Lambie designing an alternative keyboard. As people abandon keyboards for smartphones it may well be the time to change keyboard design. In fact it has already started. Apple has a ".com" key, and there have been all sorts of other changes including changes on physical keyboards.
But look at this John Lambie one.
Melbourne Age, "the keyboard is able to be flipped for easier use by left handed people."
WHAT is it we are meant to do? Does Lambie think we lefties see the world in reverse? That the 'b' comes before the 'a' in our mirror world?.
I'm quite confused. I thought of typing this whole blog post in reverse character order and holding it up to a mirror to see if Mr Lambie has a point, but wisely decided against it. How does he think we have managed all these years? Does he know we read normal books normally? Or does he think we start a the back page and flip the book upside down?
It's just getting all too much. I'm having an Alice-Through-The-Looking-Glass experience.
Even the French are starting to look sensible ...