Tuesday, October 12, 2010

What WERE They Thinking? Or WERE They?

Last Licks is one of the most unique ice cream parlors in New York City. As the only sports themed birthday party location in New York and Westchester, we offer an exciting experience for both kids and adult sports fans. With stores throughout the tri-state, this ice cream parlor offers space for bat mitzvah parties, retirement parties, birthday bashes, and even events such as athlete signings. Come in to any of our ice cream parlors to try a variety of homemade goodies, from ice cream sundaes to tasty cookies and cakes. - Advertising blurb for Last Licks, New York

"We wanted the best for our child."

Nothing wrong with that sentiment regarding one's child. Except that it was expressed as the reason that Queensland couple (Tegan Leach and Sergie Brennan) gave for aborting it.

According to the Melbourne Age, in police interviews on March 30, Leach said she had decided to have an abortion in late 2008 after learning she was pregnant because she did not feel ready to have a baby.

Brennan, in a separate interview, said the couple "wanted the best" for their child and did not feel they were in a position then to provide the necessary support.

I'm staying well clear of that couple when next I visit Queensland. And if I do happen to bump into either of them, I sure as hope they don't want the best for me!

You can read about the case HERE.

Enter If You Dare
Closer to home ... downstairs in fact.

"ENTER IF YOU DARE" says the yellow police-like warning stickers on the windows of  "Last Licks", an ice cream parlor for kids of all sizes. The parlor is directly under the east wing of our apartment building. It sells Yankee (baseball) memorabilia, ice creams, milkshakes, sundaes, candies and who knows what else.

Or to be more precise, who knows what.

Last Licks, Last Laugh, Last Rites?
Look at the menu. You can't see it in the photos? Well that's because it isn't there. It isn't anywhere. Like the place on the stairs in A.A. Milne's poem.

"Halfway up the stairs isn't up and isn't down. It isn't in the nursery, it isn't in the town. And all sorts of funny thoughts run round my head. It isn't really anywhere, it's somewhere else instead."

The white writing on the blue background doesn't list food items and prices. Here it is,  enlarged.

There's no menu anywhere in Last Licks. I double-checked when I went there today. The place was empty of customers except for me. I was clearly outnumbered by the three employees. One was at the cash-register, another was behind the counter. And another was wandering aimlessly around pretending to be a customer.

I ordered a vanilla milkshake. Then I asked Mr. Behind-The-Counter-Guy, "How can I tell what other food and drinks you sell?"

"What do you want?" he asked me.

"What do you have?" I countered.

He looked confused.

"Well do you have a menu anywhere?" I asked. "No".

Victorious, I questioned him again. "Are we meant to GUESS?" "How can we buy food if we don't know what is available?" "Can't you see there's no one here?"  "Maybe that's why no one comes here."

I noticed that  Mr Cashier-Man had started listening, "She's got a point," said Mr. Behind-The-Counter-Guy.

"Yeah," said Mr Cashier-Man.

By this time I was getting bored. Time to lift my act if I was to keep amusing myself.

"I think I'll write about this place on my blog," I said. "About it having no menu."

Both Mister-Men looked pleased.

"About how no one comes here. About there being no customers," I said, hammering the point home in my "nasty-mode". (Do I have any other?)

At this point the door opened and a women entered.

Now it was the Mister-Men's turn to look victorious.

A customer, so there!

"Can we help you?" said Mr Pretending-To-Be-A-Customer.

"Yeah do you have a bathroom I can use?" she answered.

I smirked.

Nasty-mode back in full swing.

"What size milkshake?" asked Mr. Behind-The-Counter-Guy.

I was shocked and asked him hadn't he even started making it. He was standing there holding one of those old-fashioned looking silver milkshake containers.

"No I've made it," he explained. "I just wanted to know what size glass to pour it into."

Not that it was a glass. It was a disposable paper cup.

But then, what do you expect from a place that  describes itself as "most unique".

Breads at Eataly, Flatiron District, New York
I decided to have lunch across the road at the Italian place. It was full of school kids. They were really polite. One who was about ten asked me if he could use the Parmesan cheese shaker that was on my table. Waiting at the counter was a little girl wearing shiny black boxer shorts and clog shoes; one foot had no sock and the other leg had one luminous green thigh-high sock. A four year old was discussing "the importance of friendship" with his buddy. "It is essential in this post modern era," he was explaining in his cute baby lisp.

Another kid was wearing a long black tee-shirt with the words, Green is the New Black, in green.

Normalcy as they say here in the US. I breathed a sigh of relief.

All was well with the world after all.

My name is Kathleenwng and I approve this message

1 comment:

Jaded NYer said...

So did you ever get your milkshake?

And are you still in "Nasty Mode"?

By the way, perhaps you need to be reminded....

Nobody thinks anymore. Why would you think that they do?

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