Thursday, October 07, 2010

Please tell me it isn't true

An internet security company called AVG surveyed moms in North America and parts of Europe and found that in the U.S. 92% of children under the age of 2 have an online presence of some sort. What You Need to Learn From Your 2-Year-Old About Social Media

Forget the two-year olds. What about my mate Trev?

This evening I received the shock of my life. I heard that my old friend Trev was "on email".

Trev, who has since birth spent 20 out of every 24 hours in a pub, who hadn't even moved from fountain pen to typewriter, and who didn't know there were cars made with automatic transitions.

We all need some stability in our lives. Some certainty. Bedrock. Something we know will still be there when we wake up in the mornings.

My bedrock was Trev. Not that I realized it till now. I've more or less taken him for granted. Unchanging, consistent, reliable unreliable Trev.

I've known Trev for a hundred years. I first met him when I was about twenty. I so liked Trev. So salt of the earth. Full of practical advice. When I was having trouble with an on-again-off-again relationship with his best friend, Trev wasn't like most Aussie men, fearful of giving advice to his mate's girl. Not Trev. "Leave the country," he advised. "Don't hang around - get as far away as you can." A practical man. Straight forward. Called a spade a shovel. My mate Trev.

So after I heard that Trev had taken a giant leap into cyber space, I had to pour myself a glass of wine to calm down and absorb the shock.

I drank my wine, sitting 12,000 miles away from Trev, in my Manhattan apartment listening to the police and fire engine sirens. I contemplated how I had unknowingly relied on the fact that there WAS a Trev, and what it has meant to me. Just knowing he was there. The solidity of it all.

Then came the IMPLICATIONS.

What SORT of email address would he have, and who would have set it up for him? And why? How had he magically skipped the type-writer and word-processor stages and leap-frogged straight into cyberspace? Will he be spending evenings in front of a computer screen instead of standing at a bar? Instead of reaching for a beer will his hand reach for the enter key? Will he say things like 'ROFL' instead of "I'm molly as a monk"? And how did he find out about email anyway?

So annoying that some people just can't let other people live their lives in peace. No, it's not enough that the internet occupies their own lives, they have to inflict it on others! Next thing we know even old George W will be on email. The mind boggles.

I'm in shock. Gone is any stability I might have had; the little faith I had left in this world has dissolved. The ground under my feet will never be the same again.

I feel like my life is on a foundation of wet silicon.

My name is Kathleenwng and I approve this message

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