A survey from department store Debenhams [...] suggests that a man's waistband rises and falls throughout his life. Trousers bottom out at the age of 16 with below-the-hip styles and peak at 57, just seven inches below the armpit.Men's waistbands have risen and fallen through history
Since coming to America I've become a TV person. That is, instead of doing things that require energy, mental or otherwise, I am quite content in spending my leisure time in front of the telly.
It's easier that way.
I don't have a pet. I don't know the people next door. I don't have any friends (I am a New Yorker). I spend my commute time (two hours per day) reading novels. So in my spare time - what am I to do?
I'm not complaining. I get my kicks from The Joy Behar Show (my current fave). I get my news from CNN ... yes I know it's biased but beggars can't be choosers. If I'm feeling hormonal I can watch a Lifetime movie. If I'm feeling cosmopolitan I can watch the Independent Movie Channel. And if I'm hungry I can watch the Food Channel.
Television in America is all things to all men and most things to some women.
There is only one show that I cannot stand, and that is the Larry King Show. I cannot stand the way he wears braces to hold up his trousers. In Seinfeld-speak, "What's with the braces?"
I believe that he wears braces so that the waistband of his trousers can hang aesthetically around his waist, rather than under his armpits like the trousers of his contemporaries.
So I don't watch the guy. A girl has to have SOME standards!
But today I heard about his comment to Kirstie Alley (Cheers, Look Who's Talking, Deconstructing Harry AND Scientologist) about Scientology and her (Kirstie's) weight gain.
Now don't get me wrong - normally I'm all for women being comfortable about how they look. Why SHOULd they look lithe and slim? Yeah - I know - it seems better than looking clumsy and fat ... but the feminist in me takes over.
But the chutzpah of Kirstie Allen - in being overweight AND expousing Scientology as a cure-all.
Kirstie had just agreed with Larry King's statement that Scientology had the best record in America of getting people off drugs.
ALLEY: That's true.
And then Larry King countered with, "Why haven't they helped with you with weight addiction?"
Great punchline Larry.
Your braces are forgiven.